dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
