the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
