I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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