And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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