sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
