you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
