so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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