i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
