Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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