Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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