It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
