our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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