Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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