I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How external is "for external use only"?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
This toilet bowl is my home.
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