What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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