She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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