I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
