i love accidental penises.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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