I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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