I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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