"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
