kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
