there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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