My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
