Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
