wat bout pragnant strippers??
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
