if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
