Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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