I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
