Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
