Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
