We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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