and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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