i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
