I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
