Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
