I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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