My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
