Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
