She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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