why didn't you poke me back
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
