I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
