..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
