Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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