I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
