i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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