Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
