giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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