my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
