Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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