i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
