so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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