I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
