So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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