tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
