So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
