Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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