Umm I'm too high to move.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
